“What are you doing? – Sitting for 40 minutes, staring at a white wall?” she asked, “I could never do that.” She was evidently puzzled. She had realized during our first conversation that I was different, not your average guy — whoever that may be (and in no way do I want to offend all the other more or less ordinary guys) — but this strange behavior? “I couldn’t do that either” — “So why do you do it if you can’t do it?” (Sounds like a Koan – more about that later).

OK, I’ll let you in on a secret: when I sit face to the wall, I never stare at the wall. First, you learn in pre-school that it is rude to stare, then that it is terrible for your eyes to focus on one point for a long time, and mostly, when you look intensely at a wall, chances are you start to see wild animals and other scary shapes. Better, don’t look. There are many more scary things closer to your heart, and they are likely to come out of their hiding when you quietly sit.

So what is this all about? You could say it’s about meditation. Sitting on a cushion on the floor with a straight back, your eyes more or less closed, and your hands in a “typical” position evoke associations of deep meditation, enlightenment, bliss. When you ask around and look around, you will find that many associate meditation with the newest meditation app on their smartphone. And that’s perfectly OK. Meditation is much less boring when you can listen to music, and someone tells you what to think. This keeps your mind busy, and you don’t worry too much about the white wall, especially when you look at the threadbare spot on the rug in the center of your room. No wall, no staring. And someone providing guided meditation. At least you’re not alone.

Even more, you don’t realize that you actually are with your back to the wall. Stuck. Stuck in every conceivable way. Eventually, you find out, and this insight may lead you to meditation or other mindful practices such as cooking or cleaning the yard.
Being with the back to the wall is extremely uncomfortable as it severely limits your options for movement. Yet, stepping away may sound scary at first, but how can you sit with the face to the wall if you don’t step away from it? Guided meditation may be an excellent first step away from the wall, someone verbally holding your hand, guiding you to your place.

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Meditation Centers

San Francisco Zen Center, San Francisco CA
Akazienzendo Berlin
Mill Valley Zen, Mill Valley California
Kannon-do, Mountain View, California
Jiko-ji, Skyline Blvd. San Mateo County, California
Daijihi, Wien