I will die

Prayer Wheels, Salzkammergut, Austria

Let me ask you a personal question: “Are you going to die?” (It's a rhetorical question - I know you will – hopefully not soon, and when the time comes, in peace with yourself). James Flaherty, the founder of the New Ventures West coaching school, wrote a critical piece: “Anxiety or Readiness—How Will You Live?” and if you belong to the group of people who will eventually die, and maybe to the group of people who worry about it - this is important reading.

“When caught in the cycle, we feel, in our body and emotions, that it’s very dangerous to let go of anxiety since something terrible might happen (the internal logic is that we must be anxious because something bad is about to happen) if we are not endlessly considering what might occur and preparing ourselves for it. Like I said, it feels intelligent to be anxious.” […]

We are going to get old.
We are going to get sick.
We are going to die.
We are going to lose all of our relationships and all our possessions.
(And this is true for everyone we love)

And we know these truths deeply, even as we attempt to mitigate their importance or deny their reality.”

As coaches, it is essential to keep the transitory state of our being present. How can you support someone in their personal development in life if you don't have a dear present? Then the rest is (almost) easy. As Norman Fischer pointed out in a workshop, the most difficult things a human has to do are to be born and to die, and so far, everybody has succeeded. 

Walk down the street, look at people, and realize that they will all die. This is an exercise we did during coach training. It is way more important than 27 little tips on how to be a better person (or a better coach).